• Three things I thought I’d lost to Facebook

    Three things I thought I’d lost to Facebook

    I’ve been off of social media for two weeks as of today, and as much as I don’t want to contribute another ‘here’s what happened when I got off social media’ post to the ether, I also kind of want everyone to acknowledge what this method of consuming the world is doing to our brains. 

    Also, I’m just really tired of billionaires profiting off my inability to think in full sentences while they sell my data and push weirdly specific ads down my throat. Ew, Zuck. Quit. 

    So yeah, I guess I’m doing another ‘here’s what happened when I got off social media’ post. Sorry? I’ll settle down and write something about art or gardening or kids soon, promise.

    Thing #1: It’s easier to find focus when I’m reading 

    I love reading. Always have. Some of my favorite memories as a kid are lying on my bed on a hot summer afternoon, so absorbed in a book that I lose track of time. Jules Verne, JRR Tolkien, and James Herriot were some of my favorites at the time, but my tastes have shifted and evolved as they do. 

    Anyway, last year, I wanted to get back to reading real books again, not just listening to audiobooks while I do laundry. So, for the last year or so, I’ve kept a book or three on my nightstand, and I read a bit before bed at least a few nights a week. 

    In the recent past, it might have taken a full page or two for my brain to stop desperately flitting around, looking for a little more dopamine here or maybe over there. 

    It feels calmer now, more like settling in to enjoy a story and less like trying to stuff an octopus into a tube sock. It’s easier to fall into the page mentally and stay there without wondering what’s happening on my phone.

    Thing #2: My brain has started thinking in long form again.

    I also really enjoy writing. My inner monologue has been presented in story form for as long as I can remember.

    As an angsty teen, I obsessed over perfecting terrible melodramatic poetry, then channeled my emotions into rambling Word docs never to see the light of day as a young adult. 

    When I started my first official blog in 2013—to document my move, along with my then-husband, into a fifth-wheel camper—I would take long quiet walks down the country backroads near the RV park and come back with so many words spilling out I could barely contain them long enough to open my laptop.

    But that was before I was responsible for quite so many things (and children).

    It was also before Facebook really figured out how to keep us scrolling. 

    In 2013 I joined a Facebook group full of other entrepreneurs called The Start Experiment. It was facilitated by Jon Acuff as part of a book launch if I remember correctly. Responding to his cryptic email was probably one of my best decisions from that time. It led to many of the clients I have now, as well as probably half of my internet friends. 

    It also marked the beginning of my going all in on Facebook, in a way. My clients were there, it’s where I built my business and brand in the beginning. It’s where I reconnected with old friends and made new ones.

    Cut to several years later, and I’m starting to notice that my brain still fills with words it wants to share, but they’re different. Shorter. Punchier. I’m mentally obsessing over one-liners and pithy observations instead of paragraphs. 

    This only got worse over time, even though starting a semi-regular journaling habit last year helped a little. I was surprised to find there were still full sentences in there. 

    But I’m happy to report that two weeks off of social media, along with a little reduction in my podcast listening time, has made a big difference already.

    I’ve revived a writing habit (the goal is 600 words per day each day I’m in the office), and my Notes app is filling up with much meatier content than it’s seen in a while. I was even able to build out my website copy a bit more as I’ve been updating my SEO. 

    Occasionally, my brain still gets hung up on a funny one-liner or observation, but I’m able to share it with someone in real-time or text it to a friend, which shockingly makes for a more satisfying interaction overall than posting and waiting for approval via the laugh reaction. 

    There’s less frenetic energy.

    I am, apparently, a very driven person. I don’t feel like it, I just feel like there’s a lot of stuff that needs to be done. But it’s something I’ve been told and seems to be objectively true. 

    That drive causes me to pretty much always feel like I should be doing something. Especially in this season of life. There are approximately 30 minutes during the day when I’m able to just relax without feeling guilty for whatever it is I’m not doing. This is probably a separate and deep-seated issue but, you know, context. 

    Anyway, I’ve noticed over the last two weeks that while I still have the urge to be productive, I don’t have the constant underlying buzz of urgency. I’m better able to mentally organize my tasks and less likely to feel like I’m forgetting something. 

    I still find myself looking for a distraction, which has led to some weird replacements (I organized all my files the first week), but I’m slowly finding ways to distract myself that aren’t related to the glowing rectangle. 

    There you go. That’s my three things. I’m sure there’s more, but I’ve already gone over my 600 words for today and there’s more to be done.

    Until next time.

    -L

  • Random thoughts from my first five days off social media

    Random thoughts from my first five days off social media


    I feel pleasant today. That’s the most accurate way I can describe it. I’ve even caught myself unconsciously smiling a few times, not because of some deep inner thought or contentment. Just because I guess. 

    Is it the lack of social media? I think it’s way too early to tell, to be honest. It could be a fluke, it could just be a nice Sunday. Is Mercury out of the oven? Maybe it’s that. 

    I do think at least some of it is the lack of Facebook though. Specifically the lack of the constant micro hits of unexpected trauma. 

    The news article about a family all dying on Christmas Day. The post from a friend commemorating the day their baby was born sleeping. With pictures. The constant stream of political posts from well meaning friends trying to get someone to pay attention to all the injustices (myself included). The animal abuse fundraisers. The nihilistic memes. Friends going through legitimately hard times and processing publicly. Shitty AI. Petty arguments. Neighborhood groups. *shiver*

    Okay, so it’s not NOT the lack of Facebook. 

    I will say that I haven’t missed it yet. For the most part deactivating my last social media account was sort of a nonevent. 

    I’m still checking the news, actually I’ve added a few news sites to be sure I don’t miss something. But those live in a bookmarks tab in my browser. I can check in (when I’m emotionally prepared, not when I’m looking to zone out), read a few articles, and leave.

    Also, I’ve learned the front page of the news sites doesn’t update nearly as fast as it feels like from social media. Checking those once or maybe twice a day seems to be quite enough. 

    While I’m still looking at my phone more than I’d like, right now my attention has been transferred to end of year planning and finishing a 90 day transaction review of my finances. Hopefully my screen time continues to drop as I wrap that up and find more reasons to put my phone down. 

    And now I’m going to practice by putting my phone down and spending the rest of this potentially lovely Sunday afternoon not getting a neck ache. ✌️

  • 2024 Book List

    2024 Book List

    A list of all the books I read in 2024 seems an appropriate enough way to start a new personal blog, right?

    I thought so.

    So, my goal this year was 12 books, and I’ve hit 19 so far. Will I make it to twenty in the next week? Doubtful, but I can always update if so.

    Either way, all of those numbers seem too low for the amount of time I want to spend reading books. Then again I have maybe 30 minutes a day available for reading, so I’ve decided to feel pretty good about it.

    Also, my real goal this year was to spend more time reading actual printed books in my comfy bed at night and less time listening to audiobooks while I did laundry.

    Nothing against audiobooks, I think a couple of my reads this year were listens. But I was craving the feel of getting totally absorbed in a good book, and in that I definitely succeeded.

    The majority of my reading was done on paper, in my cozy bed (and like two waiting rooms) and I’ve taken full advantage of our local library this year (beyond just the kid’s area).

    Here’s what I’ve been reading (keep scrolling for my brief thoughts):

    Animal, Vegetable, Miracle – Barbara Kingsolver

    Easily one of my favorite books now. Right up there with Braiding Sweetgrass. I only abuse books I want to refer to over and over, and this one is dog eared and written in at this point.

    A Fever In The Heartland – Timothy Egan

    Truly fascinating. The true story of how the KKK essentially took over parts of the midwest, and nearly the country, and in the 1920s. Such an interesting read, especially when you think how recent in the past that was.

    How to Forage for Wild Foods Without Dying – Ellen Zachos

    To be honest I skimmed this one. It’s more of a reference than a novel though, in my defense. Still a handy read.

    The Book Woman of Troublesome Creek – Kim Michele Richardson

    I don’t know why I waited so long to read this one. Was a really good read that had me looking up info on the packhorse librarians all throughout.

    Home Ec For Everyone – Sharon Bowers and David Bowers

    I don’t even remember this book, so it must not have been super impressive. Pretty sure I skimmed it. 🤷🏻‍♀️

    The Fourth Turning – William Strauss and Neil Howe

    Long, sometimes dry (audiobooks don’t do tables justice), but the concept is eye opening.

    Pale Rider: The Spanish flu of 1918 and how it changed the world – Laura Spinney

    A really interesting read that felt like it could have been written in the middle of 2020 at times.

    Filterworld: How algorithms flattened culture – Kyle Chayka

    This was recommended on the social media by my friend Monica, and was enlightening. It’s one of a long list of books that helped solidify my need to escape Meta.

    The Fourth Turning is Here – Neil Howe

    More of the same from The Fourth Turning, but updated to include more recent events.

    The Witch of New York – C. Alexander Hortis

    The story of a woman persecuted in the courts and media in 1840s NY. Hard to read at times, but also a page turner.

    Middle of the Night – Riley Sager

    I loved the first book of Sager’s I read, so I was excited for this one. It was okay, but not nearly as thrilling or twisty as the first.

    The Midnight Feast – Lucy Foley

    A decent summertime twisty mystery.

    Ultra-Processed People – Chris Van Tulleken

    I cut out a ton of processed food after reading Michael Pollan years ago. This book solidified that choice and gave me the science behind it.

    Outlander – Diana Gabaldon

    Meh.

    The Occasional Human Sacrifice – Carl Elliott

    This was fascinating and well worth the read. Also a bit gross at times, shocking, and a hilarious thing to read in the waiting room of a doctor’s office.

    The 12 Week Year – Brian P. Moran

    I liked this one so much I bought a used hard cover to mark up after listening to the audiobook. The concept of treating each 12 week period as a year in and of itself sounds great to my easily distractible brain.

    Black Pill – Elle Reeve

    Oof. I’ve read so many articles on the rise of white supremacy, the far right, christian nationalism, etc, etc. This one was still eye opening. Not an easy read.

    The Christmas Appeal – Janice Hallett

    A short cozy mystery told through the fictional emails and texts of the cast of a small town theatre group. Exactly what I needed after that last book. I actually switched between them to keep things lighter.

    Apprentice in Wonderland: How Donald Trump and Mark Burnett Took America Through the Looking Glass – Ramin Setoodeh

    This is more focused on Trump’s time on The Apprentice than it is politics, although it does connect a lot of dots from then to now. An interesting enough read, but I’m not a huge celebrity follower so I glazed over on some of the more Hollywood-y stuff.